i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize