Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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