Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
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No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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