She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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