he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
