What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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