I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it glows. i had to have it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
