Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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