Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
