You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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