No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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