Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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