My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
