New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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