don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My ass is underappreciated
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
