If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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