There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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