She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
