i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
