I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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