hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just cut my nipple shaving
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
