I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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