can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
