Don't you send me to vm
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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