these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
