I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
