found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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