Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
