The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
