woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
we should paint friendship bongs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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