that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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