Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
