Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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