I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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