Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What a dumb baby whore.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
