Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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