No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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