whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
