I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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