i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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