Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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