Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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