Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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