fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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