i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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