You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
