The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There r osticjed everywhere
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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