Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize