'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
