How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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