Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize