guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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