Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
