I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it's like heaven, but drunker
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
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He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.