My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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