Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.