I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober