I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
