covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
farters have to be the big spoon...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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