so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
