Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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