Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
